There has been this subtle change. At first, I did not notice it, it was so slight it nearly escaped me. But as I looked back, sipping my coffee in the quietness of the morning, I saw it shaping before my eyes. This change, that I believe is happening, is a maturity on my end that I have never seen before.
I am coming upon my mid-twenties. I'll be 24 this month. While I know I will be viewed as a young adult for a few more years, I feel different than a young adult. I feel different than most of my peers. That part of my maturity is growing and I am slowly peeling off that confused, emotional 23 year old.
Granted, I know I have a lot more to work on. A lifelong process that does not simply happen from being 23 to 24, but I do feel God working on me. Lately, I have been trying to see His intent in things when I am anxious. Stepping back, observing and considering the options. While this may not sound life changing to you, to me it is. Usually, I will become overwhelmed and freak out first, then after a good cry, eat my feelings and Netflix binge, come back and start to see how God is using a situation.
As I said, I have noticed I am handling situations a little more calmer and a little more thoughtful than usual. I have found that the usual distractions such as overeating or oversleeping are as not as frequent as they used to be. I know that I have dealt with depression my entire life, but I always made sure that I never completely sunk in that hole. Now that hole seems smaller and more shallow than before.
Going forward, I am trying to refocus on the Lord and His will for me. My daily prayer is that I receive His wisdom and discernment. With His plans for me and my daily actions. I want to use my days for His glory and my time for what He has planned for me. There is apart of me that sees His plans forming, like little clouds in the distance. I am excited but reminding myself that there needs to be patience and work that needs to be done before I am there. I can not worry, because whatever the plans are, when they are established by the Lord, are firm and He will keep my steps.
I am coming upon my mid-twenties. I'll be 24 this month. While I know I will be viewed as a young adult for a few more years, I feel different than a young adult. I feel different than most of my peers. That part of my maturity is growing and I am slowly peeling off that confused, emotional 23 year old.
Granted, I know I have a lot more to work on. A lifelong process that does not simply happen from being 23 to 24, but I do feel God working on me. Lately, I have been trying to see His intent in things when I am anxious. Stepping back, observing and considering the options. While this may not sound life changing to you, to me it is. Usually, I will become overwhelmed and freak out first, then after a good cry, eat my feelings and Netflix binge, come back and start to see how God is using a situation.
As I said, I have noticed I am handling situations a little more calmer and a little more thoughtful than usual. I have found that the usual distractions such as overeating or oversleeping are as not as frequent as they used to be. I know that I have dealt with depression my entire life, but I always made sure that I never completely sunk in that hole. Now that hole seems smaller and more shallow than before.
Going forward, I am trying to refocus on the Lord and His will for me. My daily prayer is that I receive His wisdom and discernment. With His plans for me and my daily actions. I want to use my days for His glory and my time for what He has planned for me. There is apart of me that sees His plans forming, like little clouds in the distance. I am excited but reminding myself that there needs to be patience and work that needs to be done before I am there. I can not worry, because whatever the plans are, when they are established by the Lord, are firm and He will keep my steps.
Comments
Post a Comment